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Weirdly, getting nailed in the butt by a porn star is still less painful than sitting through Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

This is still better than the last 11 movies Tim Burton has put out. Oh, wait, no, this is why Rick Moranis retired from acting.

We were huge fans of his first films, but after that they started to get a bit samey. I can't get fully aroused until I know exactly who I'm jerking off to a parody of, Goddamnit.

If hardcore dude on dude action has a name, it must be Indiana Jones! Sorry about that. But will the spirit of the original's parable on domestic racism remain intact??

Apparently, this version is much more faithful to the books. The good news is, the gimp scene was left largely unchanged. Sure, this is a sexy cover, but imagine how much more sexy it would be with Scott Bakula in the same pose.

The scene where the soldier gets slowly impaled while the other guy whispers to him in German is probably a completely different experience in this.

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